I...

I finally got Daniel to sign my yearbook. I was in a hurry because my parents were picking me up. So I handed it to him with a handful of pens asking him to sign. Now I have a nice large space in the back cover filled with large silver Sharpie that reads: "Hey Amanda, Thanks for sending me so many funny forwards. -Daniel Pendergrass" but his name really looks like it says "David Pez" or maybe "David Peody" or something like that. Is that what really comes to mind when he thinks of me? that's the first and most important thing? What about all the fun times we've had at the coffee shop, at school, at the library, with friends, playing Silent Hill? 2 years of knowing eachother and the first thing he thinks of is forwarding emails which I can say I've only done once recently and that was the one on love, which I might add, was very cute and I wanted to make people smile. But still, I'm really really disappointed with what he wrote. I would have thought that since he's leaving that he'd write something longer and more meaningful (and take the time to sign his name right). I dunno, maybe it's just because I wrote a page and he wrote a sentence. Mine was heartfelt and his just seemed kinda spur of the moment... You've heard what he wrote to me, this is what I wrote to him, I wrote it down ahead of time so I wouldn't have to think of it off the top of my head when the time came around. Dear Daniel (Curious D), This has been a wonderful year. I think it's a shame that we only got 2 years to get to know eachother. You have taught me so much over the past year or so. I don't want to see you go but I know that wherever you go, you will be sharing your wonderful personality and wisdom to others. I know you probably don't believe it, but what you say really can make a difference in peoples' lives. It certainly did in mine. I know that you will succeed in whatever you choose to do in your life. You just have to believe in yourself. Things may seem dark and hopeless at times, but there is always a ray of light that will find you if you let it. And don't be afraid to borrow someone else's light when you need it. Remember that everything will be okay in the end, and if it's not okay then it's not the end. I'll always hav an open ear and an open mind if you want to talk. And though I don't understand everything you've said to me, perhaps someday I will. And the same goes for you. So be nice to yourself, let your spirit soar free, and follow your heart (or gut instinct). Stay safe in Israel. I hope you never forget me, I certainly wont forget you. Perhaps our paths will cross again sometime... But until then...-Amanda L.V. (I wrote my actual name when I wrote it)" Now compare that to his thing about the email. I would have written this much anyways even if I didn't feel the way that I do about him. He's my friend and that's the only thing that matters. But am I his friend? he certainly doesn't act like it some of the time. In other news, today was the last day of school, i had my history and algebra 2 final today. I went over to spanish class to watch our movie since I was sharing with Ali and Alia but Alia forgot the edited tape at her dad's house. So Mrs.Davis gave me permission to leave campus to walk about a mile round trip to Alia's mom's house to download the edited movie and print out the script. I turned that in and did my history project in class, and spent about 40 minutes walking to and from Alia's house, out of my 2 hours. I admit that I broke a couple of laws for the school and for the legal system and the of coutesy. I left campus without an off grounds permit, my teacher gave me permission to leave and didn't give me a note because it was already against the rules, I went into Alia's house while her parents weren't home, I used their computer without asking, thoguh Alia said okay, but still. It was awkward, but I got it done for both classes and didn't fail hopefully. Also, I went to graduation, it was nice. But i'm going to miss my friends. Daniel was going to take Mindy out afterwards but she's going to grad night and I don't know if he's going too. I was glad to see some of my friends all happy and cheering for them. Ali had a pool party and me and Ashley were the only ones to show up but we had fun. I'm still upset about the Daniel thing. I know that it's a small thing, but to me those are the things that matter the most. I guess he didn't really think what the impact would be, I mean I know it's just a yearbook thing, but this is how I'm going to remember him when I'm older, and I don't want to remember him that way as someone who doesn't value or remember good times, I don't want to remember him as David Peozy. I want to remember the good things about him, and I wish that for once he'd exert effort into the idea of the signing, and making a person feel like an actual valued friend. I'm exhausted from staying up late all week, walking so much today, it's late, and from the film on my eyes from crying earlier today. My eyes are starting to roll and I feel delerious. I'm having trouble reding now. I don't know if I'm making any sense, I'm quite delerious right now...